Ladies Listen Up

The judgement we face for just BEING women is so real. We’re judged for working, not working, how we parent, IF we parent.  We are judged for how we dress, our boob size, hair, weight, mood!  We are judged relentlessly.  By the media, by men, by society and worst of all, we are judged by one another.  Only one of these do we have control over.

Yesterday I was at a birthday party and speaking to a friend who is an endocrinologist.  Aside from covertly trying to gain as many tips as possible from her (to tame my inner hormone beast) I was having the conversation with her that so many moms are faced with daily.  HOW do you do it??  I can barely get my kids to sports practice on time and I definitely can’t feed them both something healthy and that they will eat at night.  I am truly flabbergasted at the moms who juggle a job (or 2!) manage to keep their house and kids in ship shape, have a social life AND are living their best lives.  In awe is more like it.  I need a nap after a social engagement, do not have a full-time job and it’s normal for my kids to go to school without shoes, forget about having their hair brushed.                     

My endocrinologist friend (clearly who has her S&*t more together then I do) explained to me very matter of factly that although she would much prefer to be a stay at home mom (finances aside) she does it for the women out there.  The women who have battled rights for all of us throughout history, those who were forced to retire during the pandemic, the women who are barely making it, the women who weren’t given the tools to get a job.  She feels that it is her duty as a women to not stay at home, to represent women in the workforce and to continue to close that gender gap and perception of what a women “should be”.  She’s standing up for all the other women out there in her own little way and it got me to thinking, what an incredible impact we make on one another by doing our own little things to empower women as a whole. 

So what should a woman be?  I’ll tell you what women feel like they should be.  They feel like they should be successful professionally, well educated, drop dead gorgeous with minimal effort, fabulously styled, social butterflies, amazing and sexy wives, Carol Brady moms, extremely gracious and kind, always in a good mood, have nonstop energy, never get sick.  We should be patient moms who never lose our tempers, are unbelievably organized and detail oriented, top notch cooks who can at once cook organic, healthy meals that the whole family will LOVE, keep an extraordinarily clean household, be an expert chauffeur for the children, have the best trained and tidy pets ever and…..do it all with a smile on our face.   Did I mention the A+  women have full-time jobs and do all of the above? 

So who is putting these undeniably unachievable stereotypes out there? Aside from society,  history repeating itself and the obvious misogynists I think we’re doing a lot of it to ourselves.   At the end of the day, we all have some of these strengths and unless you’re a robot, not all of them.  I think while we’re busily judging others for what they do and do not bring to the table, we’re actually judging ourselves.  Comparing ourselves to others and questioning our strengths against theirs, rather then celebrating one another differences.  

As women, we have to be a united front, similarly to our relationship to our brothers and sisters, we have to always remember that we’re on the same team and rooting for one another.  I am speaking to myself as much as to everyone else here.  The next time you find yourself at the playground, school pickup or a moms night out, let’s remember to lift each other up, not tear one another down.  It’s a simple message we tell our kids often.  Maybe we need to do ourselves a favor, cut ourselves a break and remember we’re on the same team.