The Golden Rule

Today is a day in America none of us will soon forget.  No matter what your feelings are on Donald Trump; good or bad, it’s likely a day that you’ll always remember.  As I’m sure many of you have, I’ve been anxious about watching the news or opening social media, more or less because I don’t need the drama of it all in my life.  This has made me think more about how much media has negatively impacted me in the past decade or so, specifically since I became a mother.  Media of all sorts.  Commercial, social, print, TV, all of it.  It’s really affected me and my feelings on others.  The subjects that get to me most vary but, there are a few that seem to be the main issues for me, and likely for many of you.  Politics, parenting, religion, education and health.  I’ve been working on trying to best process media without being upset by it, how I can be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem. My biggest issue is, I’m really bad at keeping my mouth shut.    

We all know that we’re likely not going to change anyone’s mind just because we shout louder and longer about the things we’re passionate about but, you feel like if you aren’t shouting from the rooftops then you’re almost agreeing with the “other side”.  Do you feel this?  Some of us (not me) are good at quietly having your own beliefs and feelings on matters and keeping them private.  Me, I feel like my head is going to explode when I hear the other side and I lose all control of what comes out of my mouth next.  Most of us have been on both sides of the equation.  Trying to convince someone why your beliefs are correct and theirs are not.  And vice versa, when you feel like someone is trying to convince you theirs are right and yours are wrong.  Both positions are equally annoying.   It’s frustrating to have a friend or family member you so wildly disagree with on a topic that in your soul, you stand by so fully.  A topic you feel makes all the difference and is attacking your family and your friends so incredibly directly and personally.  So what is one to do?  Ideally, keep these topics off the radar, avoid.  Don’t let it disrupt your relationships.  But is this a reality? Are we able to separate the two while maintaining respect for people who hold a different position than we do on things that we feel passionately about?  

I don’t have the answer for all of us, that I know for sure.  I know that I want to be able to respect everyone’s positions on things, I want to be able to not be black and white. I want to be someone who can listen with an open mind, see both sides of the story.  I want to but, I’m just not sure I am capable of it.   How do we turn a blind eye to things that feel like a direct attack on us? If you’re racist and I have friends and family who have black or brown skin and I pretend I don’t disagree with you, then I’m not a very good friend am I?  Or what if you don’t believe people in the LGBTQ+ community should have the same rights as everyone else, or if you believe women are less than men, if climate change isn’t real, and won’t affect our children’s futures?  If you believe guns are not a problem in America, but I am terrified for my children? If you think you’re a health expert and the reaction to Covid is a joke? But, I can’t stop thinking of the 761,402,282 people who lost their lives to it.  From the flip side too.  What do you think of all those who you feel are against you and your beliefs?  Can you look past people wanting to take away your right to bear arms, for free speech at any level, to not care for the rights of unborn children, to not consider the economy of middle America?  

How do we coexist peacefully and respectfully while remaining true to ourselves and our values? I guess this is yet another personal choice we must make.  In some ways we can choose who we spend time with, and choose our friends.  But, in many instances, we don’t.  We don’t choose who our children are friends with, who we work with, interact with, who teaches our children, who our neighbors are.  We don’t choose who our family is, we don’t choose what is important or what the values of any of these people are.  

What we can choose is how we treat others.  We can choose to respect others’ differences and opinions.  We can choose to recognize the difference between fact and opinion and not react outwardly, the way we are reacting inside.  That’s where I’m landing with all of this.  At least that’s going to be my attempt for now.  Do unto others as you would have done unto you.  It’s the Golden Rule, right?